Fine Print

It was probably a hot summer day when Macklin finally decided to do it.

He would create his very own website specifically tailored towards left-handed people. It was simple, put everything on the left side of the screen so lefties could easily hover their fingers over the words as they read.

Or so he thought.

When he cracked open his laptop, Macklin saw all the possibilities of his intended website as the loading bar remained stagnant before his very eyes.

The following morning, he awoke to his computer “turnt up and ready to function,” as you all would say.

After doing some light dusting around the mansion with it, Macklin popped his laptop atop his chest and started researching how to create a website.

He came across various sites that would help him, but one website, in particular, caught his attention because its homepage featured a yellow lab sitting in a cubicle while wearing a phone headset.

Now it should go without saying, Macklin…

That being unsaid, Macklin setup an account with the yellow lab website and bought his domain name, “Southpawisanothernameforlefthandedpeople.thewebsite.com.”

With his website name bought, Macklin started looking into the options of how he would build his website. As he read through the yellow lab’s customer support page, he realized that he needed to make another purchase in order to bring his horrendous foresight to the digital world.

Calling the butler for his card, Macklin ordered another package from the yellow lab to fulfill his digital dreams. But as he was about to press the button which had him agreeing to give away his social security card, he had to use the restroom.

Before he knew it, Macklin’s member was spitting incessantly all over the bathroom floor and shelf of the toilet. Once Macklin was finished, he returned back to his seat and proceeded with his purchase.

After skimming over the contract that detailed the rest of his life, Macklin clicked the button for the other package. Feeling accomplished for the night, he decided to reward himself with a nice meal he ended up grabbing from the nearby Chow House.

Stuffed from all of the roast beef in both his stomach and shoes, Macklin squished his way back over to the mansion.

Unable to control his excitement, Macklin decided to sit back down in front of his computer and begin laying out how his website would look. After debating with himself whether or not he wanted to consider yellow as one of the potential colors for his background, he passed out for the night.

Once he awoke, raising his head in front of the still open laptop, he figured that he needed a light mimosa to calm his head. All of the business with choosing prospective colors to paint his website’s background was causing him to lose his nerve.

Eventually, he decided he would take a break for a few years and give it a go when he was older and not as sharp. He figured at least when that time arose he wouldn’t be worried about what prospective colors he selected for his potential background.

After a week of sitting in a chair and then not sitting in a chair, Macklin received a knock at the door. When he went to the main entrance, the butler was already there addressing two suited men.

The men greeted themselves as members of the yellow lab company and said someone within the mansion had agreed to let go of all their planetary possessions in exchange for their website to be poorly managed through their company.

As Macklin glumly sat on the ground while the two men took away all of his things, he stared blankly at his laptop. When one of the men approached him for a signature to accept the relinquishment of his internal organs, Macklin pulled out a 4-color ballpoint pen and signed it with his right hand.

After submitting himself to the two men from the yellow lab company, Macklin was stowed away in the back of a truck with all of his things and his butler. While the truck drove down the road it ended up passing by the dumbfounded Chow family, unaware of who stole their dinner for the night.

Subject #J987-001

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